Monday, February 17, 2014

Stigmata and the bull that it causes

What can one do to get rid of the stigmata that follows those of us who are riding this train? What do we do when the professionals who are suppose to help us, actually hurt us? It seems (to those watching the train go by) just stand up for yourself. It's not always that simple. If we talk back to a professional, we get labeled a "seeker". If we become their whipping boy/girl it becomes a horrible cycle. We get further into our depression, which can and will amplify our pain. Are you helping us by yelling at us? Calling us names? No you are just making us slide down a slippery slope which we hope someone is along the way to catch us before we fall too far. Remember those of us with legitimate pain we didn't ask for this. We didn't pray to whoever god or deity we believe in and go "Oh please bless me with pain" We're on pain meds! WE FORGET. WE gotta keep track of time & dose, so we keep our counts. We have loved ones help us, who have probably got a lot on their mind also!

I've been asked why I don't go to the ER. Burden. None of us want to be a burden to an already taxed system. I could probably be having a heart attack, I wouldn't go to the ER (or call 911) why? I've read what nurses say about those of us who go, and how we shouldn't be going. It's not as if there is a manual "when to go to the ER, Urgent Care or Wait" but then its my own issue. I REFUSE TO BE MADE FELT LIKE SHIT ANYMORE. I've been made felt like a pile of shit by the ER, and random care doctors at the clinic i go to. I only trust a VERY SMALL handful. This is for my OWN sanity, for if I didn't, I'd be worm food.

Of course now i'm on Norco's. (with the government trying to lessen our dependency on Acetaminophen. Let me tell you, Dear Company who made these. They look like Cinnamon Candy i use to eat when i was in high school. the ones with a "share" side and a "your" side. White with red flecks. Much to my disappointment they weren't Cinnamon flavor :P

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